adult person: life gets faster as you get older!
me aged 10: sounds fake but ok
me now:
Considering how many mailmen have access to our addresses, it’s surprising there aren’t more horror movies featuring mailmen.
My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter
Anyone else only in their 20s but feel like they are running out of time to get their life together??
Old men on grindr: “Want to be my piss slave? Daddy wants to teach you a lesson you dirty slut”
Me:
